Things you can’t do in Denver

If you are walking the streets in Denver this summer while attending the Democratic National Convention and have feces and urine with you, you had better have a good reason.

The city of Denver has banned the carrying of feces and urine for “nefarious purposes.” No this isn’t 1722, but thanks for asking. (And I don’t think it matters whether it’s your waste or someone else’s.)

From the Rocky Mountain News:

 

Poo and pee dominated a public hearing Monday on a new law that prohibits people from carrying certain items if they intend to use them for nefarious purposes.

The law, crafted in advance of the Democratic National Convention, was adopted unanimously by the City Council.

But not before a hearing laced with comedy and profanity.

Representatives from some of the groups planning large-scale protests during the DNC this month said the ordinance was unnecessary and accused city officials of fear mongering.

“The intent of this ordinance is to try to smear protesters and make them look as if they are somehow criminal or somehow going to engage in some kind of gross conduct,” said Glenn Spagnuolo, an organizer with the Re- create 68 Alliance.

The ordinance makes it illegal to carry certain items, such as chains, padlocks, carabiners and other locking devices. It also prohibits the possession of noxious substances. Two of the most frequently used examples of a noxious substance are a bucket of urine and a “feces bomb.”

Police have to prove that people carrying such items intend to use them to block public access or emergency equipment or to thwart crowd control measures.


Feces Bomb? Wasn’t that a punk band back in the day. Used to play out a lot with Suicidal Tendencies?

 

By the way, Glenn Spagnuolo, I think “smear” was an unfortunate choice of words. 

And this doesn’t really have anything to do with this, except to prove that the Internet is a terrible, terrible place.

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1 Comment

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One response to “Things you can’t do in Denver

  1. Tom

    “Police have to prove that people carrying such items intend to use them to block public access or emergency equipment or to thwart crowd control measures.”

    So . . . as a carrier of the steamy stuff, you get a pass if you tell the police officer, “My current intent is to hurl this glob of feces at the first delegate I see wearing a ‘Hillary!’ button”?

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